Today we remember our baby that we never got to meet or see. I think about her every day (Paul says he thinks it was a girl). I am still riding a roller coaster of emotions, some days I am understanding that this obviously wasn't in our plans and other times I am so bitter and sad about our shattered dreams. We already had a plan for this little life the second we knew we were pregnant and it feels like it was all taken so quickly. It is hard having nothing to hold or see from our baby since we never got even an ultrasound picture. I would have been 16 weeks pregnant now. Only a few short weeks away from finding out whether Paul's guess was right! It's hard to believe and hard to let go. I still get sad often and I am sure I will always be sad on milestone days, like my due date which was officially April 3 after my ultrasound. Paul has been so great, he is so supportive. I know it can't always be easy to be the strong one but he really is. I'm thankful I always have his shoulder to cry on. I am very open with everyone about what we have gone through with the loss of our pregnancy and am so grateful for the support we have received from our loving friends and family. It is surprising how many women go through a miscarriage that you never knew about! We are hopeful our family will expand by one (or more!) soon but are comforted in knowing it will happen in God's perfect time.
On a different note- only three weeks of work left until I officially move to London and am permanently reunited with my husband and furry babies, Lily and Spaz! Can't wait!
Jessica
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