The Diagnosis

Yesterday we went to our first appointment with our fertility doctor. Since we have had two miscarriages the only thing they do testing for in an anatomical problem in me. Blood work and genetic testing only happens after 3 miscarriages here in Canada. During my last miscarriage they had mentioned I may have a uterine septum and after another ultrasound yesterday, this diagnosis was confirmed. What this means is that the outside of my uterus is shaped normally, while the inside looks more like a heart (yupp- I loved those babies so much I made them a heart shaped swimming pool! too bad it didn't work!). This is becomes a problem when the baby implants on the septum area since it is lacking in blood supply and the embryo is not able to develop properly, thus resulting in recurrent miscarriages and explaining what may have happened in my previous pregnancies.

What comes next for us? In the next couple of weeks I will need to go for a sonohystogram to confirm this diagnosis and see how large the septum is. After this procedure, I will be having uterine septum resection surgery. We are praying this surgery will be done in June, although it is more likely it will be done in August.

We are so grateful for a diagnosis so quickly and glad that there is something that can be done about it. We are hopeful for a baby late 2014 or early 2015, all will depend on when surgery can happen and my healing time etc. Of course the risk of miscarriage will still be there for future pregnancies, but is only 10 % at my age (according to our Dr). Of course I am very nervous for surgery, but would do anything to give us the best shot possible to having a family in the future.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers through this whole process! We still have a long way to go, but the future has gone from gray to light pink and blue for us!

Our first fertility appointment is tomorrow!

The seven weeks we had to wait for this appointment is almost over! We are looking forward to our appointment tomorrow with our fertility doctor. It's hard for me to believe everything that has happened in the last ten months. Ten months ago today I was taking our wedding pictures with my brand new husband! Now we sit here excited to hopefully receive some answers to the many unanswered questions we have as to what caused our miscarriages and how to prevent another one. We are so thankful have access to these doctors and so many diagnostic treatments that will help to determine what is going wrong! 

I thought I would finish off by sharing a few pictures from the last month of our lives! 

 We got a new couch! Everyone seems to like it...

 I made us a new wreath for spring! 

 Paul made us a clothes line in the basement (ignore the mess behind it- we are only mild hoarders! I swear!)

 We enjoyed our very first home made popsicles of the year.

 We went to a London Knights game and they won!

 We cut our Lily's hair for spring. Awful- I know! Hopefully it grows out soon, but at least she's feeling good and matt free! 

This beautiful little lady came for a three day visit with her momma! It was a blast! 

Hope you all are enjoying the beautiful weather we have been having! xo

Emby's Due Date

Today should have been so different. 

I was due to have our first child today. Today was supposed to be the day I have been imagining for years, the day when I would hold our sweet baby in my arms and become a mother. Instead I am working a 12 hour shift and trying my absolute hardest to hold it together until 8pm when I get off work. I will not be with my husband, I'll be two hours away. 

Since I will not be in our home today, Paul and I commemorated our baby E earlier in the week by planting poppies. They've always been one of my favourite flowers and when I saw the kit earlier in the week I couldn't resist. It was perfect. We had been struggling to figure out a way to remember our baby. So many of the ideas I've seen require you to be in a permanent home- we are only renting. There was no way I was going to plant a beloved tree or butterfly bush only to move and leave it here 2 years later. Then I found the poppies. 

You grow only 6 seeds in a little pot and are to plant the rest of the seeds in your garden. We saved the rest of the seeds for when we move into our own house.

Of course our baby girl's pot had to have diamonds on it!

Now we just wait for them to grow. Today we are remembering, loving and celebrating the short time we were pregnant with our baby this side of heaven. 

Emby- we pray that you can feel our love in heaven, that you're brother is there with you today and that you are in God's arms instead of ours. You are so loved and missed.