Looking Forward

It's hard to believe I would have been 39 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Our due date is fast approaching. Amazing how when we look back on time it all seems to have gone by so quickly, but living each day, each week waiting for another little blessing to be given to us seems so slow and agonizing. Last week the mid wife office phoned to say I had a mid wife for October. What a devastating call. I remember when I first pregnant the second time, only just over a month ago, phoning to get on the waiting list. My husband and I weren't even sure that's what we really wanted, but I was sure that I wanted the opportunity to decide in a few weeks. As I was making that call, I was nervous about miscarrying again and having to deal with it later. Little did I would be faced with that very situation a month later. 

What did I do? I very politely said, "I'm sorry, I actually miscarried". The lady on the phone was very nice and said that she hopes I take time to recover and that they hear from me again soon. I do too! After this call I was a wreck. I've been handling my second miscarriage very well, or as well as you can be when your future of having children is completely unknown and you've been referred to see a fertility specialist at the ripe old age of 22. I held it all together until my husband left for the afternoon and then just went strait to bed with my favourite book. I didn't feel like doing anything that I needed to get done that day. I hoped I would be okay the  following day, and I was. My friends and I went to The Price is Right Live! It was a blast too! 

As we look ahead to next week, our due date for our first lost baby, so much is unknown. What we do know is that we have each other, we will be seeing the specialist next month and that we will be getting a new niece or nephew today or tomorrow! Can't wait!