5 Month Update!

Height and Weight: 26.25 inches tall and 14 lb 1 oz
Finally my sweet girl's height growth has slowed down. She's still just in the 3rd percentile for height and weight combined but is a little higher than she was last month.

Stella loves being outside. One of our favourite things to do as a family is to go for walks right now. She usually falls asleep with all of the bumps of the sidewalk. It's nice to get some exercise and be able to have a nice adult conversation as well. We took her to the beach for the first time this month and managed to stay there a whole 4 hours. It was wonderful! Stella got a bit fussy so I took her down to the waters edge and she fell asleep to the sound of the water right there in my arms. Such a special mama moment. We brought her little baby pool to the beach (that we got at the dollar store) and filled it with freezing cold lake water. After an hour or so on the hot sand, the three inches of water was toasty warm and ready for our little swimmer. She loved it! Water is a lot more fun now, she splashes away in her bath and even tried to turn her head to the side and drink the bath water. I often bring a blanket to the backyard and just lay her down on it if she's fussy and she is content staring away at the clouds and trees, I get an extra few minutes of peace and quiet if it's windy out.

The last half of this month was spent with Stella being quite fussy. She's always had a hard time from about 5 pm- 6:30 pm since that is her bed time. Now it starts as early as 9:30 am. It makes me so sad not being able to help her to stop crying. She is fighting off her naps and some days doesn't even nap. I wish they could understand how awesome sleep is! Babywearing has saved us some days!

She has started blowing raspberries all the time. It is one of the sweetest things ever! She also reaches for faces and gives the best hugs ever. I can hardly believe she will be 6 months old next month!!

4 Month Update!

This month has been full of walks, giggles and figuring out our routine! It's so much fun to watch our girl grow and change each month. We are loving this warmer weather, being able to show off her adorable thigh rolls and taking walks with the beautiful spring blossoms all around us.

Stella is 26 inches long and weighs 13.5 lbs. Still tall, in the 97% for her height, and skinny! She has developed quite the bald spot on the back of her head this month. She rubs her head back and forth like a mad woman in her bed as she is waking. Hopefully it grows back soon! We also noticed that she has a birth mark behind her ear! This girl has the oddest birthmarks, tip of her tongue and behind her ear. She got her 4 month shots on Friday. She did better than last time in terms of crying, but was completely thrown off for three days. She wouldn't sleep, all she wanted to do was cry which is very unusual for her. Thankfully she seems to be back to herself this week.

We've been loving all the sunshine this month. Stella is quite warm and sweaty all the time so she sleeps in onsies and has been rocking lots of summer clothes. One funny thing we've noticed about her is that she sneezes when it's bright out, just like her daddy! On Victoria day we went for a nice hike down by the river. Paul wore Stella in the Ergo and it was great, she even fell asleep! We took Stella swimming early this month, she didn't quite know what to think of that.

She started rolling from tummy to back this month! She also does this weird thing where she always arches her back. It can get pretty annoying when you try to sit her in her seat or pick her up but it seems to be stopping in the last week or so. We put her in the jolly jumper this month and she loves it! I love that she is able to do more things now, it is so fun to watch her experience all these new experiences for the first time.

The best part of this month has to be her laughing. She laughs all the time now, especially when you try to put her down for a nap. It's hard to be upset when she laughs at you! One day I was laying down with her trying to get her to sleep and she was just cooing away. I looked at her and said, "Stella it's not time to play, you need to go to sleep!" She just started laughing and laughing. So funny!

I can barely believe in just two short months my girl will be HALF a year old. Crazy!!

Mother's Day

Last weekend I got to celebrate my first mother's day with my girl in this world and not just in the belly! What a beautiful day it was. Paul got me a hand stamped ring with Stella's name on the front, birth date on the back and "my sunshine" on the inside. It's beautiful and I love the thought that went into it.

On Sunday we dedicated Stella at church. It was a great service and a very special moment for me, Paul and all those that have prayed with us since the moment we found out we were expecting our little blessing. We didn't really get to celebrate mother's day that day so we went for a nice walk in the park early this week to celebrate. All the magnolia trees were in bloom, my favourite trees. Some day we will get one, when we are in our forever home, to commemorate our angel babies. It was nice to get some photos of mama and Stella with the beautiful trees.

Mother's day is always emotional whether you so badly want to be a mama, are expecting, have adopted a babe, have many babies, have lost babies, lost your mom or love your momma with all your heart. I can't help but think of the other babies that aren't here with us on this day. That being said, I am so grateful for Stella! Motherhood has been a surprise to me. I always thought I would be a natural, and in ways I am, but for the most part I would say it's hard. Everyday presents new challenges all while being beyond exhausted. It's also more rewarding than I ever could have imagined. All the stress and frustration can melt away with one sweet little smile. It has taught me to have infinite grace for myself. This is the only way to make it through the days, or should I say nights.

 Blogging is hard, my food is either cold, eaten way too quickly or in three attempts, we've had pizza more times then I can even count in the last four months, my living room floor looks like a baby gear maze, I now have perma bags under my eyes, I'm lucky if I wear jeans twice a week, my hair is in a bun 24/7 otherwise it gets ripped out by the handful, I now have stacks of batteries just in case her favourite toy dies (and it takes 3 batteries... what's up with that?), I can't even remember what it feels like to have a purse and I'm currently trying to sleep on the couch with the panicking dog so she won't wake the baby. Life sure is different now but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Three Month Update!

A quarter of a year old already! So hard to believe, where is the time going! Our girl is getting so big and getting a personality to match. Each day being new joys and smiles with it. We are getting into a routine now and she is starting to finally get more independent. It's been hard for me to let go of her a bit in a way but it is nice to get some time for myself again.

She weighs 12 lbs 7 oz and is 25.5 in tall. She's in the 97th percentile for her height and the 50 percentile for her weight, but her height and weight together put her in the 3rd-15th percentile range. My babe is tall and skinny! 0-3 clothes still fit, but most of the pants were short a month ago.

The main development this month- laughing. My favourite milestone yet. The first time she laughed, at just 9 weeks old, I had the happiest of tears rolling down my face. The third time she did it I managed to catch it on video so Paul was able to see too since he was always at work when she did it. Now she's laughing every day. Best. thing. ever.

We're still cloth diapering and loving it! We now only wash diapers every three days, our bills haven't gone up because of the diapers and our girl rarely gets diaper rashes. They're awesome, even Paul loves them and how cute they are.

Sleep was rough this month but things are looking up! Stella still will not sleep in her crib. I know, bed sharing = not safe. That's what I thought too until I became a mom. It's what works for us, Stella seems to like being close to me and I like not having to fight her to go to sleep and not having to get out of bed to nurse her. This month I was dead set on getting her into her crib but after two months of being right beside me she wasn't into it which just lead to frustration and exhaustion on my behalf. She also would only nap in my arms, not Paul's arms, ONLY mine. It was cute at first, but after 2 and a half months it became frustrating. I'm glad I enjoyed each and every snuggle but now I am ready to have some time for me again. So two nights ago I nursed her in bed at 8 pm then left her there (don't worry, the bed is all safe for her!) and she slept all on her own! We went up to bed around 10:30 and she woke around 11 to eat. She then slept until 5 am!!! I felt like I had slept for 24 hours. It was great. After her feed she slept again until 7 then got up for the day around 8:30. Today she slept alone for her naps for the first time since she was born at 3 months and 1 day old. Here's hoping things continue to go like today!

We celebrated her first Easter and it was wonderful. We spent it surrounded with family and took a ton of photos. We were home, just the three of us Sunday and Monday which was great. It is nice to start our own little family traditions and make memories as a family of three.

Stella can pull herself up while holding our hands into a sitting position while holding her head up all on her own. She's grabbing on to toys more and more and recognises our voices. I will cherish the memories of waking up with her beside me, looking over and watching her recognise me and give me the biggest smile. She is the happiest in the mornings.

I can't wait to see what milestones this month will bring and to celebrate my first mother's day with a baby on Earth!

Two Month Update!

Two months already?! Time sure is flying by. This month I finally realised my baby is no longer a newborn. It was a sad day but I am glad I enjoyed each and every snugly moment of that stage. Our second month together was a great one! She really started smiling in response to us more and more each day. Nothing melts my heart more then the moment she wakes up, sees me and smiles a huge gummy smile. I wish I could freeze every special moment and sometimes I feel so sad that I can't come back to these moments.
She's getting stronger and stronger every day now. She half rolled over this month, daddy did help her a bit though. She can stand on my lap for longer each day. She's holding her head up better than she could last month even though I have been slacking on the whole tummy time thing... oops! Her eyes go bright red when she's pooping, it's a great warning sign for me!

She is 24.5 inches long and weighs a grand total of 10 lbs 15 oz. All of her 0-3 month clothes are getting too short but are still baggy on her. Even some of her 3-6 month sleepers are short. I tried on her Easter pjs today- they barely fit. I guess she will have to start wearing them now and we'll have to hope they still sit by the time Easter rolls around in a month.

This month has also brought some struggles for us. Paul has often been on call, working over 24 hours in the hospital, some times twice a week. These days are so exhausting for me. With a baby that doesn't like to be put down or even to be alone on her play mat, it makes meals and bathroom trips nearly impossible without help. I've also had to come to the realisation that when Paul gets home from work that doesn't mean my shift ends and that I can just pass the baby off for a much needed break. He needs a break too! It has been hard to figure out exactly how to function well as a team where we are both happy and getting some much needed rest, but every day we are getting better and better at it.
We found out that Stella has a heart murmur and will need to see a pediatric cardiologist to make sure all is well. We pray that she is healthy and are thankful for the opportunity to receive care from a specialist.
** Since writing this post we have seen the pediatric cardiologist and are so thankful to share the news that everything is fine with her heart!

One Month Update!

Stella is already one month old! I can hardly believe how fast time is flying. You would think it would seem longer since we've been awake half the night for the last month but it still seems to go by in a flash. Here is a little update into our first month as parents!

First holiday- Valentines Day!

Our girl is weighing in at 9lbs 9oz and is 23 in long! The doctor seemed to be a little concerned with her slow weight gain, but we are doing well now. Our girl is exclusively breastfed and I have to admit this has been one of our biggest challenges as a new mom. I felt very strongly about breastfeeding and really hoped I would be able to do it successfully. Before I had Stella I read four breastfeeding books. I felt like I had a decent idea how to do it but once she was here I was having a LOT of pain while feeding. I got my latch checked in the hospital and was told it was perfect and it just hurts some people (not very helpful, I know). All the books I had read said a good latch = no pain, this is wrong! I struggled through feeding for the first few weeks. Many tears were shed, I would dread feedings and when my baby girl would cry I would already start getting worked up since I knew what was coming. After seeking out lots of help and receiving lots of wonderful support from my husband, I got through it. It still is sore, but no where nearly as bad! I am so proud of myself for sticking it through.

She is super smiley and I am loving every moment of it.

She wants to be in my arms ALL the time. It can get hard, but I am loving each and every moment since I know this will be short lived and she will soon be running around, too busy to snuggle all day with mommy.

First cloth diaper- 30 hours old and clearly loving it ;)

We are loving our cloth diapers! We started the first diaper at home, at just 24 hours old. We do all the washing our selves and it is not nearly as bad as you think. Every time she pees in a new one before we even have it done up we both are so thankful for cloth! Oh ya- we've had no leaks or blow outs that weren't caused by user error (Paul and I both didn't put one diaper on right resulting in a mini leak and tiny blow out).

We had two photo shoots, the first was a posed newborn shoot and the second was a lifestyle shoot. The first was a disaster since Stella is so awake and refused to sleep or be posed at all. Luckily we had the greatest photographer and we did manage to get a few great shots. The second was much more successful, and we are still waiting to see all our photos from that one.

Paul was home for the first two weeks and that was wonderful. It has been a big adjustment with him being back to work. Last night he worked a 27 hour shift. It has been hard for me to be alone all the time especially with a baby that doesn't like to be put down! I find it hard to get anything other than baby care done. Paul finds it hard to be away from us so much. We cherish our weekends more than we ever have before. Thankfully, we have received great support from our church community here and that has made things so much easier!

I am so thankful to have survived our first month with us all being healthy and learning how to be a family of three!

My Labour and Delivery Story

Some of the dust is settling now as Paul went back to work today (aka last Wednesday since it took me about 6 sit downs to finish this post lol) and we are starting to settle into a routine as a family of three. I have been cherishing each snuggle with Stella as I know they grow so fast. Finally I have found a moment to write my labour story out so be warned it will be a long post with lots of pictures!

My last belly profile shot, I was in labour here!

So it all really started on the 19th, I started having some regular contractions. We thought it might be time and even debated going to the hospital but they ended up getting less regular and I had an appointment with my OB the next day so we thought it would be best to wait for that. The next morning I was still contracting but very irregularly. I went to my appointment and he said I was 3 cm and thin! I was beyond excited! He wasn't going to book an induction since he didn't think I would need it, which made me even more excited. I then had an ultrasound to check on her and my fluid levels. Everything was good, he checked to see if her cord was around her neck (thanks to me being super paranoid about this) and thankfully it wasn't. I couldn't even see her face since she was so far into my pelvis! I remember thinking that she looked HUGE. The doctor also did a stretch and sweep- ouch! On my way out the doctor joked that he would see me tomorrow in the postpartum unit. After my appointment I texted Paul to call me asap and called my mom to share the exciting news. 

That afternoon I bounced on the yoga ball constantly only taking breaks to try to get last minute things together in preparation for my hospital stay. By 3pm my contractions were very regular, every 7 minutes or so. I remember texting Paul to tell him I didn't think he would be at work the following day since we would likely be in the hospital. By 4 pm my contractions were every 5 minutes lasting 45 seconds to a minute but they still weren't overly painful at this point. I knew at this point you are supposed to go to the hospital but I really didn't want to call Paul home from work and I didn't want to go there and get sent home. So instead I made dinner. By the time Paul got home I was cooking dinner and having a contraction every 4-5 minutes. It was so silly and it took me forever to make dinner. Looking back we were so thankful we had made that meal. It meant we had full bellies going into the hospital, that we had healthy left overs for the first couple of days home with baby and it was a wonderful distraction from my labour. At about 10 pm we decided we should go to the hospital to be checked even though my contractions still weren't as painful as I imagined they would be. They hooked me up to the monitors and checked me. I was still 3 cm and not in an awful lot of pain so they sent me home. I was so discouraged. I felt like I had been through a whole afternoon of labour and had made no progress and I felt like I had looked silly getting sent home. So we went home and tried to get some sleep. Literally 5 minutes after we laid down I was writhing around in bed with my next contraction. The pain was awful! Paul had fallen asleep but quickly woke up to me in pain. I got up and went to have a bath to help with the pain. It didn't work at all. I got out and was in so much pain I would be on the floor with every contraction. Paul insisted we go right back to the hospital. It's now about 1:00 and I get to the hospital, I have the same nurse in triage and I have a contraction on my way back to the triage room. Talk about embarrassing! I was freaking out with each contraction. I had thought this whole breathing thing was a huge joke but quickly learnt there was no way I was going to get through each one without it. The nurse asked Paul how long I has been in this much distress for and he said about an hour and a half. Then she asked how I felt about an epidural and I said to get me one AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! We all laughed and then they got me admitted. I got wheeled back to my labour room, which was absolutely gorgeous. The view we had of the city was beautiful. They started getting me ready for an epidural which involved blood work and getting an IV started. I'm so terrified of needles, this was the part I was dreading for a long time. Blood work went smoothly, I like to think I am somewhat  past this phobia after tons of blood work for my miscarriages. Then came the IV. The nurse couldn't get it in my left hand and ended up digging around for a while trying to get it before finally giving up and going to get another nurse to put it in my right hand. She got it the first try, thank goodness! The resident came in shortly after to get me my epidural. They had a hard time getting me to sit strait. I felt like I was strait and I was but we found out that my spine is curved and I have scoliosis. So I got my epidural, which took way more freezing to get in then it should have. Really I thought the IV episode was way worse then my epidural. We are now at about 3:00am. After 1000 ice tests, they figured out my epidural wasn't working properly. It was patchy and my uterus wasn't frozen at all. They ended up giving me higher doses and that didn't work, so he took it out and re did it higher on my back. This time it worked but we are now at 5:00! I was so thankful when I couldn't feel those contractions anymore. I remember thinking I would never make it through if these epidurals didn't work. The only issue now was that I was so frozen from all the meds that I was freezing to high up and there was concern I wouldn't be able to breath if I froze too high. Luckily this never happened. 

They broke my water shortly after and checked me again. I was only 4 cm but very thin and baby had moved down more. My water had meconium in it which meant Stella would be taken away right after birth to be checked by the NICU team. I was devastated to hear this. I had always felt very strongly about skin to skin right after birth and this meant it wouldn't happen but I trusted in God's plan and found comfort in knowing he was in control of the situation.

When they checked me again in two hours I was only 5 cm dilated and they made the decision to start oxytocin to get my contractions stronger and more productive so Stella wouldn't be in the meconium or distress for as long. They started that around 8:15 and checked me again in two hours. The nurse told me to guess how dilated I was at that point and I thought around 8 cm. I was fully dilated! 10 cm! I've never been so excited! She then said I would start pushing in an hour so I could rest and prepare to push. This was great. I had time to get my mind around pushing and that our baby was going to be born within the next few hours. I was so relaxed, but also scared that pushing would be so painful. I remember pushing my epidural button a couple of times in this hour in preparation for pushing haha.

The last belly picture ever!

An hour later I began to push. It was around 11:15 now. I was so nervous I would be able to push well with an epidural and had prepared myself for 3-4 hours of pushing. After the first couple of pushes and some guidance I knew how to push. I could feel the pressure of Stella coming down and I could feel when I needed to push. I was also able to move my legs through my entire labour despite my epidural, which was wonderful. I remember the nurse saying, " I can see the baby's hair!" and I was beyond excited that she had hair. Shortly after I started pushing the nurse said, " Do you think we can have this baby by 11:50?" and I thought that was crazy! Less than half an hour from that point. I pushed as long and hard as I could and not long after than the nurse was calling in the doctors and the NICU team for my delivery. The resident that was supposed to deliver her didn't even make it. At 11:42 am I watched the doctor guide our beautiful baby girl into this world. All I remember is seeing that she was a girl and being so thankful, looking at my mom, her saying something to me, both of us in tears and looking back and seeing Paul cutting the cord and little Stella getting whisked away to be suctioned.

Stella ended up being taken for about 15 minutes. It sucked. I needed stitches and with no baby to distract me it was quite painful, even with an epidural. This was the worst part of my whole delivery. Paul went to bring Stella to me and after a couple of quick minutes they ended up needing to take her away again for more suctioning. Despite this, her apgars were 9s and when it was all said and done I got to have her skin to skin.

It was the most amazing thing I have ever done in my life and I had a wonderful experience despite a few bumps along the way. I surprised everyone (including myself) with how calm I was throughout the whole process. We couldn't be happier with our baby girl!

Blogging is now nearly impossible since we have a mommy's girl on our hands who hates to be put down for longer than 5 minutes. It took me over a week to write this post so I apologize if it doesn't make sense in places. I will still try to do posts, but for now I am enjoying my sweet little newborn snuggles since she won't be considered a newborn for much longer. You can't spoil a baby this young, right? ;) Thanks for joining us on the journey to becoming parents, I look forward to seeing what mommyhood will bring!